You can't and you don't. People cannot be managed. Only non living things can be managed. What you need to focus on managing is the agreement between people. For example, if your child refused to drink her milk, you set up an agreement with her such as if she don't drink, she is going to get a tight slap or if she drinks, she gets a candy. All of these are agreements. Similarly, in the corporate world, managing agreement helps to let people managed themselves. This is where motivation comes in. People who agrees with the agreement while motivate themselves to finish their part of the bargain. Hence, you don't manage people but you manage the agreements.
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My younger daughter loves to throw a tantrum when things doesn't goes her way. What I learn from the above helps. Never say 'NO!' to your child. Instead motivate her by managing the agreement with her.
Today, she refused to eat her dinner. Instead of just saying 'NO! You have to eat and open your mouth!', try asking what she wants? She says she wants her mummy to feed her. I'm her daddy. I will say, 'Sure, if you eat this spoonful, I will let mummy feed you'. And if she still refused to eat, ask her again what she wants?. This time she says, she want a packet of chrysanthemum. I took out a packet of the drink open it up and dangle in front of her. She say give it to me and I tell she has to finish the spoonful. This time she took it.
Hence from this episode, I did not use the 'NO' word which will gave her no choice and instead I gave her a choice for her to make a decision that she wants, which somewhat gave her the impression I respect her decision which motivate her to do what I want.
If she says, she do not want to eat, I will still asked her what she want instead of what she don't cause I know what she don't want. The bottom line is gave her a choice and let her make the decision herself instead of making the decision for her.
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