911

I remember the day on Sep 9 not because of the World Trade Center but because of the day when my girlfriend, now my wife had a little secret rendezvous. I believed it was 2 days before that actual date where I discovered accidentally via her phone on those messages. We had a talked and I remember saying those words.

We know each other for almost 6 years. Not married but have been cohabiting. So in other words, we probably know each other inside out to a certain large degrees. In fact, if a normal couple has been together very close for 6 months, I believed the couple should more or less know what life s/he is getting into with the other. Within this period, a couple must choose whether to continue with each other or call it quit and look for someone else. This is my first point.

In the beginning, both of us are excited about the relationship. There are so many things to find out from each other and things like hobby, experiences, sports to share with each other. After 6 months whatever that is a mystery should probably be no more a mystery and the fire in one will not be as strong as in the beginning. One has find more things to do together that both are interested like new hobby, new friends, new experiences in order to prolong the flame and that is not an easy task. Besides, tolerance come into play as the relationship gets deeper and deeper. There will be a point where both parties has set an unconscious tolerance limit in the relationship. This limit is set by the worst incident that the couple has gone through. This limit will always be tested by more difficult incident and if the couple ride through, the limit extends. This limit cannot contract by normal events unless one party has some psychological changes by another event. So it is either a break or moving on.

So if the limit is broken and the couple decides to go separate ways, the cycle ends and each will go back to when s/he is single. If s/he falls in love again, though experience, s/he goes through the same cycle. S/he will not know the outcome but for sure limits will be created and will be tested again and again.

So my point is why go through the whole cycle again especially after 6 long years. One will not know whether after another 6 years, one will reach to the same stage, better or worst. So it is always better to sort out, find solutions over solution first before going through another cycle. If one can't solved the present problem, what makes one think that s/he can solved the same next issue. Unless of course if s/he choose to be single. So if you want to break because you found someone better, please take time and really think twice about it.

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