Your Eyes are Not Listening

I have 2 little daughters and when I heard this from Mitch, it gave me something to smile at.

From a Sermon by the Reb, 1958

“A little girl came home from school with a drawing she‟d made in class.
She danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner.
“„Mom, guess what?‟ she squealed, waving the drawing.
“Her mother never looked up.
“„What? she said, tending to the pots.
“„Guess what?‟ the child repeated, waving the drawing.
“„What?‟ the mother said, tending to the plates.
“„Mom, you‟re not listening.‟
“„Sweetie, yes I am.‟
“„Mom,‟ the child said, „you‟re not listening with your eyes.‟”

I let my wife listened to the above and she brought back the book that I once read and recommended to her 5 to 6 years ago - The 5 Love Language by Gary Chapman.
The 5 Language of Love (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/) are as follows :-

• Words of Affirmation

  Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Quality Time

  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

• Receiving Gifts

  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

• Acts of Service

  Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

• Physical Touch

  This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

She asked me which is the predominant language of my eldest daughter. I contemplated between Quality Time and Words of Affirmation and ended up choosing the later. She told me that it was Quality Time. How? She actually asked her, my 4 year old.

Mum: Do you love me?
Daughter: I loved you mummy.
Mum: Why do you love me?
Daughter: I just love you.
Mum: But you must have a reason why you love me.
Daughter: Ahhhh.... because you spend time watching movie with me. You read bedtime story book with me.

Just as simple as that.